Free write Haibun/Haiku

I keep thinking in montages of "before". I see myself omnisciently moving through life; the retrospect of the camera's ever present eye. Condensation from my drink watering sealed floors, waiting in hallways and uncomfortable chairs; lining the walls gracefully, tactfully, like every time before. It was like moving through sludge; I am floating through the thick ambivalence in which depression is kept at bay. Head back, eyes closed, hair absolutely everywhere and gasping for air granted from stolen bits of adrenaline. When you cannot be moved to feel, you feel like a thief when sensation is near.

concrete steps un-level
old illuminated fog
past is just prologue

Undated writing from my teenage mind "Sleeper Sidewalk"

Welcome to Sleeper Sidewalk
where life is nothing more than a dream
morning never comes and the clouds never cover the moon or stars.
there are no worries, no stress of the real world.
The only fear here on Sleeper Sidewalk is of waking.
But here you don't need to know about the world.
This here is the end of it
nothing like you ever thought it would be.
no heaven, no hell
no demons with angels wings
no devils upon an angel's halo.
There is sleep, peace, and fear is only in your mind.

_______

No idea how old I was. Judging by the mess of handwriting and how it is on the page I would take a guess that I was probably fifteen. It's kinda got COVID-19 vibes, don't you think?

"Sleeper sidewalk" man I like that. I guess I liked it then too. This feels like a good project to rework.