One of the most frustrating things is seeing something or hearing something that triggers your mind into high gear. One seemingly insignificant thing tailspins your brain into a million possibilities. This is great for detectives, who then have to sort out the facts and reason their way through those million possibilities. In fact I sometimes feel like I might have missed my calling.
But then I remember I grew up in a house of lies. Then I remember that my general nonchalance probably makes me a victim and target for deception. Top it off with being generally unlikeable because I've got a rampant infection of, "Fuck, I shouldn't have said that." and you have the perfect storm of painful anxiety that will quickly send me into depression.
Oh yea, I was also raised by a master of passive aggression. Why hello tree! I'm your apple and I didn't even fall to the ground. I got caught in your branches and I'm stuck here to rot.
Can we also accept that being reasonable and acting reasonable is tough to do at the same time? Seriously, who fucked that circuit up? You don't even get a choice in which "reasonable" circuit is going to get fried during the "Emotional" voltage surge.
Being passive aggressive is like trying to throw a bunch of resistors in line to keep the "reasonable" circuits safe. However we usually don't have the coping mechanisms to deal with the residual heat and eventually the resistors burn up and cause bigger problems ("stewing over it").
If you succeed in placing the appropriate amount of resistors and account for heat dissipation then you get a a nice big heaping dose of apathy!!!!
You know what people hate more than unreasonable actions? No actions.
Why is that? Well when you went through the passive aggressive stage they can generally tell something is wrong. *points to top of post* Yup, you've just triggered THEIR tailspin (though likely on a smaller scale, unless they've really got reason to worry - which is one of the reasons you're already accounting for. Worst. Case. Scenario. It's probably at the forefront of your tailspin too).
Congratulations! You've now fucked everything up.
Are you looking for advice and answers on what to do next? Call a professional.
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