I'm not me

today i see the black you greyed for me

layered minutes, hours, days and years

to dull the blow you feared to make.

casually you placed it there

for others, not me.

but why not me?

why not me?

not me.

i

I struggle with self worth. It's this slippery slop where I try to avoid things that give validation. The stress of anticipating feedback makes my insides melt and solidify all at once. Today I really feel it. So I'm trying to be productive. Magically got a doctors appointment for a general check up in a couple of weeks. Now I'm hunting for a therapist to help me deal with me.

Until then, enjoy the bad poetry.